The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
