Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
