Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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