he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
