I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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