Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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