Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
