There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize