the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
