tell your sister to shave her snatch
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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