so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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