well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
