Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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