so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
