I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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