dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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