sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
