When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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