my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
