Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
