yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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