Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
