I wish I could teleport
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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