I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
