Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
