it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Let's get the cat blown out
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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