YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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