she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
