why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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