I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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