the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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