"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
