come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
