I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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