I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize