Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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