Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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