She announced her abortion via fbk
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
