I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
