It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
