I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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