Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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