and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize