right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
