butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Define "chronic" masturbator.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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