if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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