I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
