In America we eat man semen.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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