This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
