We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
