Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
