Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
