i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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