just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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