i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
