community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
