operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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