Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
