you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
