Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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