do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
