i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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