If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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