Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize