How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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