If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize