I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
