okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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