my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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